Gay and Lesbian Counselling and Community Services of Australia

Click on a question about sex to read an answer to it.

• How do I have sex with another woman?
• How do I have sex with another man?
• Other forms of sex
• Masturbation

How do I have sex with another woman?

Having sex with another woman is a wonderful and natural experience.

The clitoris is the only human organ that is solely for pleasure. It is extremely sensitive and can be very enjoyable if stimulated correctly. The "G" spot is another area that, when stimulated directly, can result in intense pleasure. It is found about a third of the way into the vagina towards the pubic bone. There are vibrators with specially designed sleeves to stimulate the "G" spot. However, what works for one woman may not work for another. Sexual response and pleasure is a very personal and individual experience.

The following are some tried and true lesbian favourites:

Kissing is a favourite thing to do with the mouth and lips and women have been known to kiss for hours on the cheek, neck, breast, clitoris, anywhere! The body is your oyster. Licking and sucking are also common and enjoyable practices.

Touching of genitals and clitoris is also a favourite form of lesbian sex. Explore slowly around the lips, clitoris, its hood and shaft, around the vagina and anal area. Touching with the entire body is a favourite. On top, either clothed or naked next to each other, pressing against each other, putting one's leg between the other's thighs, wrestling, rolling around, all emphasise whole body touch to stimulate sexual desire. Touching with breasts can be very arousing for both as can touching the other's genitals with one's breasts by rubbing the breast lightly over the vulva, stroking the clitoris with the nipples or pressing each other breast to breast.

Tribadism is rubbing one's genitals against someone's body or genitals. In the 19th century, lesbians were known as "tribades" because of this form of sexual practice. It can involve straddling the partner's leg and pressing and rubbing the clitoris against it or both partners may get into a scissors position to rub genitals together. This form of sex allows the hands and mouth to be free for other things.

Oral sex is using the mouth, tongue and teeth to stroke and penetrate the genitals.

Dildos and fingers can also be used to penetrate the vagina.

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How do I have sex with another man?

Having sex with another man is a wonderful and natural experience.

Kissing is one of the first ways of experiencing pleasure with another man. It is one of the most common, safe and enjoyable of practices. Kissing can be an exploration of your partner, there are many places to kiss each other; the neck, breasts, nipples, the belly, between the thighs, and perhaps the most intimate the lips and mouth, from soft brushing to deep exploration with tongues. Kissing heightens sexual arousal and a feeling of intimacy.

Touching, caressing and rubbing up against your partner (sometimes called frottage) is also common and stimulates sexual desire. The male body is very sensitive to touch, and touching of the body with fingers, hands, body to body can be very sensual.

Mutual masturbation is the stroking, fondling, rubbing, or kneading of each other's dicks. It is a very common form of gay lovemaking and is very safe. Caressing your lover's cock can be very erotic for both partners.

Rimming is the licking and caressing of the anus using the tongue, lips and mouth to explore and penetrate and can be highly arousing. If you or your partner has cuts or open wounds in either area this activity could possibly be seen as risky; use a dam or latex barrier with lubricant. This is also a high risk activity for hepatitis.

Oral sex, fellatio or sucking cock involves one partner taking the other partners dick and/or balls in his mouth, massaging and sucking. This can be highly pleasurable due to the sensitivity of the head of the dick. Oral sex is considered a low risk activity in terms of HIV infection. Care should be taken to ensure you or your partner has no cuts or abrasions on either the penis or the mouth. If so don't suck cock. You can also use a condom to make oral sex safer.

Anal sex or fucking can be the most intense, exciting and erotic of all sexual exchanges between men. Some men prefer to be fucked, others to fuck, still others like both. Many gay men do not enjoy fucking and choose not to partake. The choice is yours. Being the receptive partner to anal sex can produce intense sexual feelings and excitement due to the rubbing of the partners cock on the prostate gland inside the rectum, or male "G-spot". Ensure you engage in safe sex against HIV and STDs by using a condom and plenty of water based lubricant when fucking.

These are just a few of the more common sexual activities guys engage in when having sex. There are many more and the possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

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Masturbation

Masturbation is the act of caressing, fondling, stroking, and rubbing ones own genitals for sexual pleasure.

Until recent times, masturbation was seen as being abnormal, a deviant behaviour, detrimental to both physical and mental well being. It is now recognised that this is not the case, and masturbation is a healthy expression of our own sexual desires and fantasies. Masturbation allows us not only to release sexual tension, but also to become familiar with our own bodies and more comfortable with sexual feelings and responses. It is an exploration, to discover our own sexual likes and dislikes. Many people masturbate from puberty or even prior to this, and throughout their lives.

Everyone masturbates! It is not something to feel guilt or shame about, but rather to be enjoyed and celebrated as a natural expression of our sexuality

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Other forms of sex

These forms of sex can be practiced by lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transsexuals and heterosexuals

Bondage and discipline (B&D) involves taking away freedoms from a person. With bondage it is physical while the discipline is more verbal or emotional control. Masters and slaves fall into this category.

Sadism and masochism (S&M) uses pain as a sexual stimulus. It is often combined with B&D.

Sex toys are widely used. Vibrators, dildos, oil, fur, feathers, water, velvet, silk can be used as sex toys to increase arousal, excitement and sexual pleasure. Don't share sex toys as this can spread STDs including HIV.

Group sex or orgies happen when more than 2 people have sex together. Group sex usually refers to 3-4 people while orgies involve more people. All types of sex can occur here.

Exhibitionism, voyeurism, phone sex and Internet sex get little attention but can be exciting alternatives to the usual body-to-body stimulation.

Acting out fantasies, whether it be in costume, role playing, scene setting or verbally, or a combination of all of these can be very exciting. Fantasies enable you to have wild affairs with whomever you please while in the safety of your own bedroom and your own mind.

Erotic literature can give new ideas of positions, roles and places to have sex. There is limited lesbian erotica written for lesbians presently available as well as few erotic films and photography. There is much more erotic literature available for gay men as well as for heterosexuals.

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